Eat Pray Laugh Day 6: Reality show auditions

I've had a hard time putting this blog into words, but here it goes!

On day six of the tour we were back in Los Angeles. We had an evening show at Saddleback Church, but before the show Kerri had an interview for a reality show pilot called (working title) Real Christian Women. I think they're trying to imitate Real Housewives, but with a church community.

I'm not going to pretend I think this show sounds like a good idea. Save for Toddlers and Tiaras, I'm not a reality show fan. The only good thing about them is they give everyone, mostly the mentally insane, a fair shot at celebrity status. There is no talent or creativity required. Then again, my television only gets two channels, (three if I put aluminum foil over the antennas), so who am I to critique this genre?

"Qualified" or not, I'm critiquing.

We arrived at the casting studios and met the casting producers and directors. They told us to our faces they are only looking for camera-friendly (translation: hot) women. They said out of five or six cast members, only one could be overweight. Keep in mind this is Hollywood, where I'm considered obese.

They wanted real faith, but were okay with fake body parts. Maybe if it were called "shallow Christian women..." Or maybe they're insinuating that real Christian women ARE shallow. I don't know.

So what did all this have to do with me? I'm getting to that. I went with Kerri to watch Ruby while she had her interview. Kerri had said they may ask me a question or two about her, and I assured her I'd make sure she sounded like she belonged on a reality show (translation: I'd make her look a lovely blend of crazy and loveable).

About half an hour later Kerri bounced out of the interview and not-so-subtly suggested they interview me for the show. They said absolutely and ushered me into the audition room.

"Um, sure!" I said as I complied. I WAS curious and I hadn't signed anything or filled out any paper work that bound me to the show if selected. (Kerri had turned in a 14 page application prior to her interview.)

The casting lady brought me in and asked a series of questions that hinted maybe she didn't know much about real Christianity at all. No questions about Jesus, how I try and show God's love, or what it's like to fail and by grace try again. She wanted to know if there were any churches I despised. If everyone in my family were still virgins. (I was like, "Yes. My parents.") They were looking for areas of conflict. I didn't give them any. Fifteen minutes later the inquisition stopped, mainly because I think my general lack-of-conflict bored the casting director to death. She told me she'd be in touch with more information, and we all went our merry ways.

I called my dad immediately and thanked him for giving me a drama-free life.

Long story short, I didn't hear back from them. =0D Obviously, as you can see by my emoticon choice, I was bummed. (Sidenote: anyone know how I can get actually smileys onto my blog? Once I learn I plan to massively overuse them.)

Oh, and also you're required to undergo a psych test before they officially pick you. My friend who works in production said they do that because they WANT crazy people on the show as it creates drama.

Fortunately the show at Saddleback Church in San Juan Capistrano was a blast. Wonderful REAL Christian women who were very kind, very beautiful, and full of laughter. Here are some photos from that:







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