Warning: This is satire.**
I recently began volunteering with the high school ministry at my church. After a little observation I've come up with a list of things you need to do if you want to connect with high school students at youth group:
1. Give high fives. Lots of them. There is no such thing as too many high fives.
2. If you're a guy leader have a football or soccer ball in your hands. At all times. No exceptions.
3. Say "that's awesome!" a lot. I think the conversational rule is you need at least one "that's awesome" for each year of the student's age.
4. A well placed "Wuzzup!" goes a long way in breaking the ice.
5. Play an instrument for worship. The list of acceptable instruments you can play for youth, from coolest to least coolest, is as follows: Electric guitar, acoustic guitar, drums, bass, keyboard, piano, ukulele, violin, tambourine, castanets, kazoo. If your primary instrument is the cello or a woodwind instrument, God probably hasn't called you to high school ministry. (No offense to my fellow musicians, but have you ever seen anyone lead worship at youth camp with a flute?)
6. Blast their ears with really loud music during worship, then admonish them to listen.
7. Have pizza. Because if they don't like your personality, speaking style, or music, they'll like you because they associate you with pizza.
8. Be genuine. At least pretend to be.
**Mostly.
www.funnykristin.com
