God redeems every situation, no
matter how uncomfortable.
This morning I did stand up in front
of a bunch of naked guys in a prison.
You probably need more of the story.
Earlier
this week I was in Nashville for a Christian comedy conference. This morning, before
returning home, a bunch of comedians, including myself, joined up with an
organization to go do comedy and ministry for the inmates at a local prison.
After
arriving at the prison and going through the intense security (which was still not as bad as TSA), we sat through
a briefing of things to do and not to do. We received a packet of papers and verses, and each got a pen to write down
things related to the ministry materials. We weren’t under any circumstances
allowed to let inmates keep these pens, because they can be used as weapons.
As
my team began to go to our wing of the prison, the coordinator said to our leader, “you’re
taking them to the guys in B.”
A pit formed in my stomach. I realized I was going to be in front of the male inmates.
I’d
assumed up to that point that I’d be put in a group performing for female
inmates. But you know what they say about people who assume:
They
end up having naked convicts in their audience.
We
performed in the common area of a cellblock. Tables were set up around the
large room, there were showers to the right and left with inmates showering, (they
were blocked with hip-high barriers, but still…), and clear floor-to-ceiling
glass partitions revealing the barracks, where men were sleeping, hanging out,
and getting dressed.
Uncomfortable
doesn’t begin to describe what I felt.
“Lord,”
I prayed. “I don’t know when you plan on returning, but now is a really good time for me!”
The
team leader introduced me and I took the mic. I wasn’t even thinking about
comedy. I was thinking about where I should look.
I
didn’t want to look at the showers, so I looked straight back. Nope. People
changing. I focused instead on a few of the inmates sitting at the front tables
who actually looked like they wanted to laugh at comedy. I appreciated these
guys.
I
did a really short set and I don’t remember most of it. They laughed some. I
think.
After
the second comedian finished we spread out to talk with the inmates. Being the
only girl in the group I was going to try and sit with one of the men
teammates, but as I tried to non-awkwardly find a place, I saw an inmate waving
me over to a seat.
“Com’ere
homeschool! I got questions for you!” he said.
I
prayed quickly for boldness. And I checked to make sure my pen was secure.
Two
other guys sat down at the table with us. One wouldn’t make eye contact with me
and the other was an older man who looked kind. I felt oddly
comfortable at the table. I looked around the rest of the room and a man with
hair like the serial killer in Silence of the Lambs gave me a creepy smile and once-over.
I
decided to stay focused on my table.
We
introduced ourselves and I asked them a little bit about their families, how
long they’d been in prison, and other details about their lives.
After we finished our introductions, the
inmate that had waved me over, who I’m going to call Jay, got to business.
“I
got questions, and I think you’ll know the answers,” Jay said.
“Fire
away,” I said. Probably a poor choice of words, but whatever.
He
proceeded to ask me a series of questions about apologetics. He wanted to know
how he could tell his inmate friend that Christianity is true. He wanted to
know if men are born wicked, or if society corrupts them.
There
was no degrading tone, no hint of wanting to give me a hard time for being a
girl in his territory. This was a man who wanted answers.
Those
who know me know there are two subjects I will always want to talk about: comedy and apologetics. If you manage to
combine the two into one conversation my head explodes.
Jay
and I began a deep discussion about grace, apologetics, Jesus as the ultimate
truth, and how we know the gospel is true. As we spoke, the inmates to my right
and left came alive. The man to the left still wouldn’t speak, but he smiled
slightly. The man to my right engaged in the conversation. We went through and
discussed the verses on the sheet the ministry gave me. The man to my right
mentioned wanting to make things right with his family.
At
the end of the conversation, Jay looked up at me and said, “I been praying for
answers, and I knew the minute you walked in, Homeschool, that you’d be the one
to give them to me!”
My
heart about broke. There, in the midst of feeling helpless and scared, God used
me. I had the answers Jay needed because I’d had his same questions as a
sheltered homeschool girl ten years prior. I prayed with them. I prayed that God
would redeem these years and give them a passion to see His kingdom spread.
After
getting their names and ID numbers (my silent friend even spoke up to give me
his!) so the prison chaplain could follow up, I got up to rejoin our team.
Right before we left another inmate came up to and asked
how you walk the Christian walk when everyone around are hypocrites.
“Like
today,” he said. “My boys say they trying to do right by women. But then you
come in here and they immediately start talking about how they gone mess you
up. And they make me start thinking that way.”
I
was slightly startled by his bluntness, but he said it so honestly and sincerely that I didn’t
feel like it was a threat or a put-down. We talked a little about James 1:23,
where it differentiates between hearers and doers of the word.
Then
it was time to go. And I'm not going to lie. I was ready to get out.
I
walked down the hall trying to process everything. I’m still processing. God used me in an
incredibly uncomfortable situation. But He was there. I had answers and spoke
with a courage I didn’t know I had.
And
despite overwhelming odds, I successfully managed to not see too much of the
male anatomy.
I
never felt like I was going to be harmed or be held at pen-point. A few times I
felt like a piece of raw meat in a lions den, but hey, that also happens when
you ride public transportation or go up at certain comedy rooms.
As
I contemplated the day, I thought about all the crazy opportunities stand up
has afforded me. When I started stand up I decided to never NOT do anything out
of fear. I can’t help feeling it sometimes, but I try not to let it dictate my
actions. Today was another testament to God working fear out of my life.
I’ve been up since 3:15am, it’s
been a long day of travel and trying not to see things I don’t want to see.
I
will be praying for Jay. I think when I get to heaven I’m going to find out
that he went on to do great things for the Kingdom of God.
And if you’re from CCA reading this, thank you
for a wonderful three days! I treasure and value the encouragement,
friendships, advice, and critiques I’ve received from each of you.
Goodnight.
