Earlier this month I got extorted by my local government into showing up for jury duty. My lack of luck at getting drawn for things finally had a positive side and I didn't get picked for a jury. Today I received this beautiful souvenir in the mail commemorating the time I spent sitting in a room full of people holding my breath.
Even though $6 is mere pittance in this economy, I decided I should still steward it well. So I ran my good citizen earnings through a Dave Ramsey budget recommendation pie chart. This is how I'll be spending my $6.
$1.8 will go toward my housing. My parents will really appreciate getting rent from me this month.
$1.2 will go directly to food. I will enjoy feasting on one child size Chipotle taco.
$.60 will go toward my car. Pretty sure I can get a couple tablespoons of gas.
$.60 will go to getting clothes, but if I shop at Goodwill that's an entire outfit.
$.30 will go to my medical bills. Finally get a bandaid and protect this nasty hangnail from tearing.
$.18 will go toward insurance. Or in this case, reassuring me that I will never be fully assured of insurance.
$.06 to further my education. Perhaps I'll buy a Laffy Taffy and study the joke on it.
$.60 to my credit cards and loans. Sally Mae will be so proud.
$.18 into my savings account, aka the toilet shaped mug sitting on my desk.
$.18 will go toward entertainment. I'll probably just get 18 pennies and look for one with my birth year on it. That was fun as a kid.
$.30 will go to charity. I need to pray about which one I should bless with my abundance.
The good news is I'm off the hook for jury duty for three more years, and I can go get a Smashburger. (But just the burger. If I want cheese and the other trimmings I gotta wait until I get jury duty again.)
3 comments:
I like how your sentence is structured so that we can picture all of the people in the jury room holding on to your breath.
Would make a fun cartoon!! :)
Now that is some gazelle intensity... So funny, Kristin!
hilarious.
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